Ben liked Jonah Delaney, he really did, but the prospect of spending an evening playing poker with his future father-in-law always made his a little jumpy and uptight. He’d been part of the Poker-Night group for about two years now, but he tried not to make it to every game. He wasn’t technically related to the Delaneys yet, so it was easy enough to make excuses, send his regrets. But he went often enough to keep Avalon happy. And to make it look like he enjoyed the game nights.
But he’d never been over for a poker night without Avalon also present somewhere in the house. The women never joined the men, not for poker; they played other games and such but left the men to their devices for poker nights, but at least she was there. At least she was around. She’d bring more pretzels in sometimes, and smile encouragingly, and give him a kiss on the cheek. And sometimes he’d sit out a hand or two to ‘use the restroom’ and use the time to fondle her and make-out with her under her father’s roof. That always seemed to make her hotter than hell. Of course he’d never actually had sex with her in her father’s house; that was a line he refused to cross despite her very convincing arguments and coaxing to the contrary. But hell yes he’d kiss her till she was desperate and take her nipples in his mouth and even reach his hand into her panties to feel how turned on she was. He considered that his little reward for enduring poker night.
And tonight there would be no reward. No Avalon. No steamy indiscretions in the pantry while they could still hear her father’s voice in the other room. No, tonight would really be a guy’s night. Ben would almost rather slam his balls in the refrigerator door.
But Jonah had called and been very persistent. “C’mon Ben, I know you’re like me—you don’t have plans when your lady’s out of town!”
Well he’d certainly sound suspicious if he argued that point. What was he supposed to say: “Oh Gee Mr. Delaney, actually I love to make plans when your daughter is out of town.”
So he’d capitulated. He was going to poker night.
But he was bringing his best-man along. West Bryant hadn’t been easy to convince.
“Are the twins going to be there?” His friend had an unhealthy obsession with twins. And with the Delaney twins in particular as he’d slept with one of them and had since made it his goal to have both of them, preferably at once.
“Sorry, no, they’re out of town.” Ben sincerely wished he could have lied, but West could always sniff out deception on Ben as they’d been friends since middle school and Ben wasn’t a terrific liar.
“Fuck no, then.”
“West, if you don’t go I’ll let slip that you fucked one of the guy’s daughters.”
West had just laughed. “You’re too much of a pussy for a move like than Ben.”
Ben supposed he was right.
“Please West? I’ll owe you one.”
“Talk to that pretty little sister-in-law for me and I’ll consider it.”
Ben groaned inwardly. “Which one?” He asked, feeling slightly queasy.
“The other one, the one… Vienna.” But West didn’t sound entirely sure.
“You don’t remember which one of them you slept with?!” Ben loved his best friend but the guy continually astonished him with how appalling he could be sometimes.
“It was your engagement party, I was fairly inebriated.” He defended himself. “Which one was wearing the blue sparkles, the mini dress?”
Ben paused, trying to remember. They’d posed for pictures… “Geneva.” He responded at last, fairly confident that Genny had been in blue and Vienna had been in yellow. But really? He wasn’t sure. He just wanted to sound confident enough to appease his friend.
“See?” West was triumphant. “I was right.”
“Congratulations.” Ben said flatly. “Will you come?”
“Oh, I always come.”
“Shut the fuck up, will you play poker tonight?”
West laughed at his own little jest and then agreed. “But I have your word?”
Ben sighed. “Yes West.” He said, a patronizing sort of tone coloring his response. “I’ll speak to my barely-legal soon-to-be sister-in-law and mention that my friend would like to complete the set and would she mind fucking him so his fantasy will come true?”
There was a silence on the line. Ben pulled the phone away from his ear to see if the call had been dropped. He heard his friend begin to speak just as he was putting the phone back to his head.
“Can you try to see if she’d be interested in bringing the other one?”
“You’re a sick fuck. I’ll see you at eight?”
“Yeah, ok.” West sounded contemplative but he’d said yes and that’s all Ben had wanted.
“Thanks.” He closed his phone hastily, afraid to have to hear more perverted requests in exchange for his friend’s presence that evening.
And so, at about eight fifteen that evening he was clapping his best friend on the back and welcoming him over to his fiancee’s house for a night of poker with men twice their age.
“Where the fuck is Grey?” West whispered an aside to him as they moved to the den to get started. Grey usually attended these shindigs but was conspicuously absent. Ben didn’t care much for Avalon’s arrogant cock of a brother but at least he was his contemporary. Grey, along with his best friend Phelan, served as a great buffer for reducing Ben’s awkwardness around Avalon’s uncles.
“I dunno.” Ben confessed, feeling more harassed by the second. “Jonah said Grey couldn’t make it, but he didn’t elaborate.”
“Fuck me in the ear.” West said. West liked Grey Delaney and Phelan Ward and had likely only agreed to come to this poker game because he knew he stood a good chance of having a laugh with them around. Now he was stuck with a bunch of middle-aged men and his mild-mannered best friend and no twins. “Maybe you should call some of the other guys?”
Ben swallowed. “I tried Ethan, but you know, West, this isn’t my little party, I can’t just go inviting all my buddies over to some other guy’s house.”
“Pussy.”
Ben felt a bit like a pussy. “All the free booze you want though, as usual.”
West sighed and shrugged. “I’m gonna need it.”
Ben thought he might need it too. His future father-in-law was behaving a little strangely, and on top of that the man had invited Ben’s uncles over too. Now Ben liked his uncles, but his family wasn’t quite the same as the Delaneys. Grey’d been raised as one of the guys, was comfortable hanging out with his uncles and dad, but in Ben’s family the generations just didn’t mix as well and he always felt like a little kid around his uncles, never their equal.
But his mom’s brothers had grown up across the street from the Delaney brothers, they’d all gone to school together, they had been friends for decades. In fact, they were close enough friends of the family that Avalon and her siblings called them Uncle Marty and Uncle Sam just like he did. Ben wished for the thousandth time that he’d managed to think up a viable excuse and not come.
By eight-forty-five they were finally all settled in and ready to start playing. Drinks had been poured and in some cases re-poured, food had been thrown together from whatever the kitchen had to offer in Velvet’s absence and, finding that lacking, a few pizzas had been ordered.
One of Avalon’s other ‘uncles’, her Uncle Len, shuffled and dealt. West flashed his friend a grin. West was happy he wasn’t the only black man at the table. Ben rolled his eyes.
“So, Jonah, I’m sorry. I might’ve missed it, but where’s Grey this evening?” Ben’s Uncle Sam asked, pulling his cards toward him.
“Happy you might actually make it home with some money left?” It was Nolan who spoke.
Everyone laughed a little.
“The thought had crossed my mind.” Sam admitted, examining his cards shrewdly.
“Mine too.” Uncle Marty added with an easy smile.
“It crossed all our minds.” Said Len smoothly.
Jonah smiled and Ben thought it looked a little forced. “He had a date I think. I couldn’t reach him.”
All the men nodded. Grey loved poker but he loved chasing ass more.
Ben lifted the edges of his cards just enough to see he had a shitty chance. He sucked at poker anyway, and it didn’t help that he almost never seemed lucky enough to get dealt decent cards. He was looking at a four and a seven off-suited. With a small sigh he called when it came around to him.
“Maybe you’ll be able to pull together enough scratch to cover this fairy-tale wedding the ladies are planning, Jonesie.” Caleb grinned, and sucked on his third dark rum drink.
Jonah’s eyes flicked to Ben and he smiled kindly. “My wife never got to have her fairy-tale wedding, Ben, so I’m afraid she’s living vicariously through the two of you.”
Ben smiled back weakly. It was getting a little out of hand. He had begun to hate anything and everything that had to do with dresses and tuxes and flowers and invitations and seating arrangements and gowns and shoes and groomsmen, and it was getting to the point where he was living for the honeymoon. He’d be more than happy just whisking his fiancée away and marrying her in a private little ceremony and then showering her with affection on some tropical island for two weeks.
He was already tired of it and it was still months away.
“Ah, don’t look so worried Ben!” Nolan grinned widely. “It’s going to be a cozy affair compared to the spectacle of my wedding.”
All the men at the table groaned and nodded, some laughed. Ben remembered that wedding, he’d been there, he’d been a boy, but he’d been there. “Did you…?” He paused, thinking for a moment, “Am I misremembering, or did you ride a horse?” It seemed like maybe he’d dreamt that or something, spliced actual events together with a memory from a movie or something.
The older men laughed heartily. Nolan Delaney nodded almost ruefully. “I did indeed Ben, I did indeed.”
“Yeah, and the horse was the compromise—they wanted him to ride in on a mothafucking Elephant.” Lennox said with a grin.
Ben laughed a little with the others. Nolan’s wedding had been a very large and interesting affair as he’d married a woman from a very traditional Hindu family. There had been literally thousands of attendees at the event. It had been too big even for the pavilion and the town park—it had been held in the city at the sports arena.
“I guess our guest list doesn’t seem so bad afterall.” Ben said, remembering the overwhelming numbers garbed in bright, vibrant colors. There was some appreciative laughter.
“That was a great fucking wedding.” Ben’s Uncle Sam said, and sipped from his bottled beer. “Wild.” He added. “But great.”
“Remember how much fun all the women had dressing in those, what the hell are they called?” Marty asked Nolan.
“Sarees.” He answered and threw a chip to the center of the table.
“Velvet went crazy over those.” Jonah agreed, and added a matching chip to the pile. “She ordered a different color for each of the girls.”
Ben remembered the females wearing those exotic wrap style dresses. He closed his eyes and tried to remember Avalon. He’d been twelve, so she would have been eight or nine. He couldn’t really remember. He’d been far more interested in the full-breasted members of Nolan’s wife’s exotic family to really pay attention to little kids. Even his mother had worn one, a saree, and it had struck Ben as the strangest thing he’d ever seen. His mother almost never wore anything but slacks and a fitted button-down. It was practically a uniform.
“What colors have you decided on?” Caleb asked Ben, throwing a chip and then another to the center. He meant ‘what colors has Avalon chosen’ but he’d kept up the pretense that Ben had any say whatsoever.
“Um, I’m not certain.” Ben answered and he could feel West trying not to grin beside him. West had firm opinions on bridezillas and had wagered a lot of money on how these wedding plans would go down. “I know her mom wants, um, light purple…” Was it lilac or lavender or violet? Ben really didn’t know, and didn’t want to say the wrong one because he had the feeling that while the three hues were virtually indistinguishable to him, Avalon’s uncle would not see them the same way.
“What the fuck’s he care about colors?” Asked Len.
“Yeah, what you should be asking is: what are his plans for the bachelor party?” His Uncle Marty was smiling a taunting smile across the table at him.
Ben’s eyes widened and he couldn’t help the reflexive glance he stole toward Jonah, before he forced himself to focus on the two shitty cards he was holding. He should fold. Fuck. If he folded now he’d look like he was afraid to discuss the bachelor party in front of Avalon’s family. He was, a little, but he didn’t want them to know that so he threw in the two chips required to stay in.
“Don’t ask him,” Said West to his right, “Any and all inquiries about said party should be addressed to the best man.”
Fuck. Ben swallowed and hoped the blush he could feel creeping up his neck wasn’t obvious. Silently he begged West to keep things appropriate. Please let him be vague and not too suggestive and not vulgar and, Oh God, why the fuck had he dragged West along? Why the fuck were they talking about weddings at a poker night?
West threw in three chips and a few people grumbled a little.
“Maybe Jonah should leave the room.” Teased Caleb lightly.
Jonah took a moment before responding. “Hmm? Oh. Ha.” He gave a short little laugh. Ben squirmed in his chair a bit and reached for his drink.
“Oh that’s nothing.” Said Len. “Delaney, tell the kid what you had to endure for your father-in-law.” The man laughed a deep, full belly laugh which Jonah joined after a moment and Nolan groaned.
“I still have trouble looking that man in the face sometimes.” Nolan said in a dead-pan.
“Is this the, uh, oh yeah, I think I know this one.” Sam said and folded. “I’m gunna grab another; anyone?” Ben’s Uncle Marty nodded and tossed in the ante. Sam stretched and moved toward the mini-fridge hidden in the sideboard.
“What happened?” Ben asked more out of politeness than interest, but very glad they were moving away from his bachelor party as a subject of discussion. He shot West a dire glare of warning, to which West just shrugged, smiled, and took a healthy sip of his beverage.
“So there’s this week-long festival of events and gathering leading up to the actual wedding,” Nolan explained hastily.
“Yeah, be grateful you don’t have to do all that.” Inserted Marty.
Nolan smiled. “And one of the rituals, one of the customs is to go over to the bride’s father’s house so that he can formally, well, ‘give his daughter away to her chosen’.” Ben blanched a little but tried to smile pleasantly.
Jonah saw Ben’s face and smiled kindly as he adjusted his glasses and looked away. Ben was grateful that Jonah hadn’t continued to watch him.
“So Zahra had prepared me for most of it; there’d be a symbolic ritual with water poured from a pitcher to symbolize purity—“
Len laughed richly.
“—Shut up Len. Um, and I had to let some of her cousins steal my shoes and hide them—“
“Whaaat?” West asked.
“Yeah, and then Zee said I’d have to repeat certain phrases and make three promises and there’d be a prayer or two and a fruit and that would be that.”
“All in front of a big crowd of her relatives.” Jonah added, leaning back in his chair and turning his scotch glass slowly in his long fingers.
“Right.” Confirmed Nolan with a smile. “So there I am, shoeless, nervous, but eager to get it right, and her father starts asking me these questions.” Ben shivered a little, grateful that he wouldn’t have to endure something so awkward and foreign. “First he asks if I’ll assist his daughter in achieving dharma. Ok, no problem. I promise. Then the next one is, shit I forget the word, but it’s prosperity. Do I promise to help her achieve prosperity. Yes, I promise.” Nolan smiled and paused for a drink of wine. “Now Zee had said the third one was sort of like ‘obey’, so I’m thinking, ‘this isn’t so different, this is basically love, honor and obey, richer and poorer sort of stuff.”
All the older men began to chuckle. Caleb, West and Ben exchanged glances. They’d never heard this apparently infamous story.
“So he looks at me, Zee’s father, and her brother is right there too, like, behind the guy’s shoulder and the fucker is grinning at me now, and Her father gives me this look and asks me if I promise to, you know, help her achieve Kama, or help fulfill the Kama, I forget just how he phrased it, but there was something in his tone, and the way her brother was looking at me that, uh, gave me pause.” Nolan cleared his throat and smiled down at the poker table.
“All of a sudden this fucker’s thinking: wait a minute, what’s the joke?” Len said, through his own laughter.
“Because the energy in that room shifted, and it was as if all her relatives were waiting to see how Nolan reacted.” Jonah added, “I got the sense that they were curious since he was such a westerner.”
Nolan laughed a little. “I look at Zee and she’s having a little trouble meeting my eye. Now I’m really nervous. I turn back to her father and he repeats the question. I don’t know what to do; so I ask him to tell me what it means.”
“What???” Caleb breathed. “Why didn’t you just say yes?”
“I couldn’t! All of a sudden I realized I didn’t know what they were saying and I didn’t want to make a promise without knowing what the hell I was promising!” Nolan explained and took another drink.
“Holy shit, you never heard so much laughing.” Len said merrily.
“I thought Zee was going to melt into a puddle. Her father asks her why she hadn’t explained it to me and she just, oh god, she looked like she wanted to disappear.”
Ben shifted a little, eager to hear what the promise would be.
“So her father, the father of the girl I want to marry, then has to explain to me that I must promise to fulfill his daughter uh, sensually.” Ben cocked his head. Had he heard wrong? “Promise to assist her in sexual pleasure and keep her satisfied and gratified in that, um, arena.” Even though it had been years ago, Ben watched a slight flush enhance Nolan’s cheeks.
“No shit!” West exclaimed, his mouth open and smiling.
“What the hell did you do?” Gushed Caleb, leaning forward.
“Yeah.” Nolan nodded. “See, for them it’s part of the ritual, it’s a foundational pillar, and all that, but they all knew, they knew that having to promise this to her father would make ‘whitey’ all uncomfortable and they were really having a good time with me. I’m pretty sure her father went into more detail than he needed to just to see how much I’d squirm.”
“He looked like he was ready to explode, he wanted to laugh so much, but he held his shit together, and he stared this nervous mother fucker down cold.” Said Len.
“What did you do? What did you say?” Caleb repeated eagerly.
“What the hell else could I do? Without this ceremony there is no wedding. This isn’t like some of the others, this one is pretty fucking important. So I look the man in the eye, feel my ballsack shrink a fair amount, and promise to do everything in my power to help her achieve Kama.”
Len roared with laughter and Jonah looked like he might split his face open he was grinning so wide. Sam and Marty had a good laugh too, as did West and Caleb. “That is fucked up.” Said West decisively.
Ben agreed but didn’t say anything. He couldn’t look in Jonah’s direction. Holy Christ. What would he ever do if he had to stand before Jonah and promise to please the man’s daughter sexually? He really, sincerely thought he might not have asked her to marry him if that were part of the ceremony.
“Yeah, they all had a good laugh, I survived, I promised Zee she’d pay for not warning me properly about that one, and we all had a fun night.” Nolan received healthy pats on the back from both Jonah and Len, who sat on either side of him, before meeting the ante with another chip.
“Yeah, yeah yeah.” Said Nolan. “One bright side is that someday I’ll get to torture some poor guy the same way.”
“Oh shit!” Laughed Marty. “Christ Nolan, you have two daughters—you’d better start saving up now—they’ll bankrupt you.”
Amid the laughter Ben heard Nolan groan. “Maybe we oughtta raise the blinds here. Forget Jones, I need the money!”
“So Jonesey,” Caleb said sweetly after Jonah had met the ante, “I don’t suppose you’ll torture young Mr. Sinclair the same way?”
Nobody laughed harder than West, the Benedict Arnold, and Ben could feel eager eyes upon him. Ben wished again that he hadn’t come.
Jonah didn’t answer right away, but Ben refused to look at him, so he had no idea if the man was smiling or scowling or what. He held his breath.
And was literally saved by the bell. The pizza had arrived and the doorbell sounded like sweet relief. He jumped up, eager for the distraction. “I’ll get this!” He said, and practically sprinted for the door. “I fold!” He heard a great deal of laughing behind him as he went. Fucking poker nights.
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