A Nice Night For A Surprise; part 2

It was confusing.  Seeing it.  He couldn’t make sense of what he was seeing at first. He’d always imagined it would feel different, walking in on something like that, seeing the betrayal, but Caleb felt largely bewildered.  Initially.  And embarrassed.  Because he’d seen something he shouldn’t have.  Walked in on something intimate and illicit and he felt ashamed, like a child might at glimpsing a graphic movie scene or accidentally catching his parents in a private moment.

And he apologized.  He felt the imperative to speak, to make his presence known, and all that sprang to his lips was “I’m sorry.”

And everything started happening very fast.  Gideon leapt up, the young man grabbed a pillow to cover himself, and Caleb started backing out of the room apologizing repeatedly.  It took Gideon a moment to throw on his robe and chase after Caleb and he didn’t manage to catch up with him until the kitchen. 

“Caleb, please, Caleb, stop.”

And Caleb did stop.  He was dazed.  And dizzy?  He couldn’t really tell.  Nothing made sense.  He stopped beside the kitchen island and waited for Gideon to catch up.

“Honey, please—“  Gideon placed his hand gently on Caleb’s back and that’s when it started to hurt.  That’s when the confusion gave way to sharp understanding, when the embarrassment shifted into grief, when the numbness was replaced by the burning, constricting agony of betrayal.

Caleb stepped out of Gideon’s reach.  “No.”

“Caleb, honey, please just listen—“

“No.”  What was there to be said?  He couldn’t look at Gideon.  He walked toward the entryway.

“Caleb!” 

Caleb was dimly aware, as he opened the big yellow door, that this was his home, his townhouse and that he should be asking Gideon and the young man to leave, but he knew he couldn’t do that.  He just needed to go.  He needed to be far away from their bedroom and their picnic that he’d set out on their living room floor, and their life together.  He needed to get the hell away from it all.

“I love you.”  Gideon said, grabbing the big yellow door before Caleb could shut it in his face.

Caleb froze.  His mouth was dry and his hands, he realized, were shaking, his thoughts were jumbled and he felt an actual, physical pain all over his body, as though he had been tortured on a rack or something.  Were his lips numb?  Jesus.  He was dizzy.  Lightheaded. 

“I love you.”  Gideon repeated, more softly, more urgently.  “Please, please don’t go- please stay, please, we’ll talk—“

“I’m sorry.”  Caleb said slowly.

Gideon paused, his mouth open, his face angst ridden. 

Caleb looked at him and had the strangest sensation that he was looking at a stranger, or an acquaintance from some distant memory.  He studied those deep concerned eyes, the proud nose, the chiseled jaw, and he didn’t see the man he loved, couldn’t seem to recognize the lover he had been about to ask to marry him.  He didn’t know who he was looking at and he felt nauseated.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”  Gideon said, miserable.

Caleb winced and blinked rapidly.  He was crying, he hadn’t realized that he was crying and wondered when the tears had started.  He shook his head, trying to focus, trying to dispel some of the lightheaded fuzziness that was threatening to engulf his consciousness.  “No.”  He said softly.  “No.”

Gideon reached out, maybe to be tender, maybe to help steady him, he couldn’t be sure.  Either way Caleb knew he couldn’t let him touch him again.  Not ever again.  He dodged the outstretched hand and backed away.  “No.”

“Don’t go like this.”  Gideon begged.  “Please, just talk to me, Caleb, you can’t go like this.”

Caleb backed slowly and carefully down the brick steps, shaking his head and keeping his eyes on that handsome but unrecognizable person by the big yellow door.  His chest felt so heavy, he felt like he might be crushed under the weight of some invisible force.  The pain of it stole his breath. 

Caleb saw movement somewhere behind Gideon and knew the young man must have thrown some clothes on and come down stairs.  He pressed his eyes closed.  He didn’t want to see him.  Didn’t want to know who he was.  He’d seen more than enough already.  “I’m sorry.”  Caleb said desperately and, spinning on his heel, fled back to his car, fumbled in his pants pocket for the keys, threw himself behind the wheel and got out of there as fast as he could manage. 

He was reckless and scattered and panicked and manic and he didn’t know where to go, but he needed to go.  He had to. 

A Nice Night For A Surprise

Caleb didn’t call Gideon when he managed to get off work a few hours early.  He wanted to surprise him.  He left the radio station buoyant, decided to head over to the centre street shops and pick up some wine, some artisanal bread and some fresh fruit and aged cheese.  He had something on his mind that he wanted to talk to Gideon about and, well, he wanted the evening to be special.

Centre Street in Cedar Falls was part of the very heart of the most adorable, the most tourist friendly historic downtowns in the entire state.  Centre Street, with its small shops, upscale boutiques and artisan storefronts was one of Caleb’s favorite places in the world.  It stretched all the way up to the Main street, where City Hall sat gracefully on the hill, presiding over the whole of downtown, to the waterfront at river street, so the view up and down Centre was always charming and lovely.  A street over, to the north, was Cedar parkway, where various town offices could be found, such as the school department, the housing authority, and it was also a popular location for dentists and private practices, and at the top of Cedar Parkway lay Cedarwood Park with the Pavilion and the gazebo and benches and trees and flowers and bikepaths.  A street over to the south stretched Maple, which hooked up with Elm and those were the streets you went to for all the best food, the best shoe shopping and that’s where you’d find the haberdasher, the barber, and the Hibernian hall. 

Various diminutive forms of cedar trees lined Centre Street and it was picturesque, clean, and it honestly had a little something for just about everyone.  A bakery and chocolate shop, a sandwich shop, a miniature little grocery; a smoke shop, a paint your own pottery center, several cafes, jewelry stores and bookshops; An art gallery, a music store, several posh restaurants, a Mom & Pop pizza parlor, a few clothing boutiques, a hair salon, a day spa, an Italian deli, a cheese shop, a new-age shop, a specialty candle and soap shop; an apothecary, a travel agent, antiques, collectibles, an ice cream parlor and a pet store.  And Caleb’s favorite place, perhaps because he was biased, was his brother’s Wine Shoppe, a perfect little store that was welcoming, classic--but modern enough to feel selective-- and chic.

He parked in the handicap spot.  He’d only be a minute.  He’d already picked up some fruit at the little grocery, some cheese from the imported cheese shop and grabbed a baguette and a ciabatta just as the Artisan bread place was trying to close for the night.  He just needed the wine and he’d be on his way home.  To Gideon.  He smiled.

It was a wine tasting night.  No wonder there hadn’t been any other spots available at the storefront.  Caleb hated that he had the car at all.  Downtown Cedar Falls was best enjoyed on foot.  Cars only cluttered it up.

His brother looked up automatically from where he was showing an attractive older couple some stylish looking bottle and smiled broadly at Caleb, giving a half a wave and a ‘one minute’ finger.  Caleb nodded, returning the smile, and headed toward the refrigerated section.  He wanted some champagne maybe.  Or maybe not something so, well, so expected or expectant.  Maybe just a nice Asti or a pleasant little white something-or-other.  No need to go counting chickens with the champagne.  He smiled. 

Some jazz was playing softly over the speakers and the lights were warm, inviting.  These wine tastings were really quite charming.  Caleb scanned the crowd quickly as he made his way to the large glass doors of the walk-in.  It was a decent turn-out and it was only eightish.  On tasting nights Nolan kept the shoppe open till ten in order to draw a young, sophisticated crowd, but the event always started at about five so the older folks could come and enjoy it as well, and the people who’d just got out of work around the downtown area.

Standing at the refrigerator he looked over the selection distractedly.  He saw a few that looked nice, one or two he’d had before, but really he was just waiting for his brother to come help him choose a good one.  Of course his brother would argue that all the wines he stocked in his shop were good.  It was likely the truth.  Caleb didn’t really know, he left that business to the expert.

“You’re going to get a ticket.”  Warned Nolan, walking toward him with a smile.

Caleb grinned.  “I’m just popping in and out.”

Nolan hugged his brother.  “Out of work early?”

Caleb nodded.  “I’d like something light and fun.  I’m surprising Gideon.”

Nolan smiled even wider.  “It’s a good night for it I think.”  He said, his eyes sliding to something beyond Caleb, behind his back.  Caleb turned over his shoulder to see his beautiful sister-in-law chatting animatedly with several customers by the table of horsd’ouvres.  So that was why Nolan looked especially relaxed and contented this evening.

Caleb turned back to his brother and felt like his face might split from smiling so widely.  “Who’s watching the kids?”

Nolan laughed.  He was as chipper as a school-boy.  It was sweet.  “The twins went over.”  He said, meaning their teenaged nieces.  So it was kind of like a date-night for Nolan.  He may have had to work, but Caleb had the feeling that tasting nights weren’t really quite the same as regular work, and now that Zahra was here with him, well, his brother looked over-the-moon.  He felt glad for his brother.  He and Zee hardly ever got time to themselves.  He sincerely hoped they’d stay late after the guests had gone, after they locked up, cleaned up, and turned down the lights, and just take the time to slow dance and finish a bottle of some wonderful wine together.

“Alright, is it a celebration?”  Nolan asked, unable to keep from grinning as he looked toward the shelves of chilling wines.

Hmmm.  Caleb hoped so.  “Not specifically.”  He dodged.  “Just a nice night for a surprise.  Maybe a little indoor picnic.”  He hoped it gave his brother some ideas for later.

Judging by the way his eyes got far away for a moment and the glance he stole over to his wife, Caleb was pretty sure he had, indeed, planted a fertile little seed in Nolan’s imagination. 

“Cheese and fruit and bread?”

“You got it.”  Caleb chuckled.

Nolan opened the refrigerator and pulled out a sexy little number.  “Crisp, light, and some bubbles.”  He said “You’ll love it.”

He hoped it had a cork that might pop off with a flourish.  “Will Gideon?”  Caleb could feel his excitement mounting.

Nolan looked thoughtful.  “I’ve told you a hundred times that Gideon likes red.”  He said, but his voice was light, easy.

“Then by all means, grab me a red one too.”

Nolan shook his head, laughing quietly, and moved easily toward a section of racks.  He scanned the rows and after a moment pulled an attractive label from below.  “This is excellent.”  He said affectionately, handing it over as if it were precious.  “I think he’ll really enjoy it.”  His eyes met Caleb’s and crinkled at the corners.  “You might even find it to your tastes too, little brother.  Have it with some gruyere.”

Caleb rolled his eyes.  He really did not like red wines, but his brother had yet to give up.

“Thank you.”  He said a little flippantly, and then again more genuinely “Thank you a lot.”

Nolan’s smile softened and his eyes were warm.  “Not a problem.”  He said quietly.  “Now get the hell outta that parking spot you asshole.”